Year of The Snake and Red Envelopes

Happy Birthday and Happy Year of The Snake!

You will be "70-something" this time, but I see no need to be specific since you forgot how old you were when we first met and fell in love and claimed it was 14 when you were nearly 16 and I was 17 a few months earlier. We carried on in between wars over the course of many years!

I play mahjongg with three Chinese ladies once a week and this week our game date falls on Wednesday, the 29th of January, which is Chinese New Year. It is celebrated in Seattle's Chinatown district with large crowds enjoying the great costumed dragons and lions and snakes in the streets, lots of red and yellow decorations and hordes of excited people waiting for the annual red envelopes with cash inside from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, lovers and friends.

Your birthday on the 28th of January is known, on the Chinese calendar, as New Year's Eve since the Chinese New Year starts on the 29th in 2025. The Year of the Snake is a year of wisdom, intuition and transformation.

Of course, since you promised me that you'd love me forever but pushed it down to the lowest part of your heart,

promised me a villa and didn't provide it,

promised me that I'd never be without a piano and a home in which to play it and broke those promises, 

promised that you'd provide scholarship for me to have the highest educational credentials but then cut the funding in the midst of my studies and I had to leave London before I could complete it, not having the tuition for SOAS when I returned from my studies at the courts of Bahrain, 

because of the promises you made to me and then broke, I have logically concluded that you are a knowing and serial promise-breaker, lacking honor.

I hope that you do indeed acquire wisdom in the New Year, that you are transformed into a man who keeps and honors rather than breaks his word, that your word means something to you, that you have the intuition to know what you should do and then do it.

I hope that you have a lovely birthday.

The Heart of Me

 I just watched a film starring Helena Bonham-Carter called "The Heart of Me" about a star-crossed love affair, betrayal, family interference and tragedies of war, things which I know very well from personal experiences.

 The male lead in the film was killed during the German bombing of London during World War 2. He was outside mid-day in the middle of a street strewn with debris from bombed buildings and there were policemen in tin hats doing their job of shepherding humans under cover. 

It was the tin hats which set me off tonight, thinking about the small collection of military paraphenalia which I brought you over the course of years and visits to you in London, Bahrain and Fort Leavenworth. One of those things was a tin hat from a former British officer's collection of WWII items he'd acquired. The man who gave it to me, now deceased, was a neighbor who lived in a flat in Dalmeny Court on Duke Street, St. James's, where I'd rented a flat while studying at the University of London School of Oriental and African Studies just a 20-minute walk away.

From the U.S., I'd brought you a soldier's helmet from the Vietnam war which was from my father's collections. 

More importantly, I brought you a 3-stemmed pink glass lamp made from a giant brass shell casing from WWII which had been turned into an exquisite piece of art with a crescent moon and a woman who looked as if the artist was imprinting a Greek-goddess with a flowing gown. The casing was reported to have come from an important naval ship based in Hawaii during the war.

I'd spent the wages of a whole summer's work to buy it for you just before I left Seattle and brought it to London when I moved there in the late 1970s for graduate studies at SOAS. I had it packed and crated again in London, in Mayfair actually, by a helpful business acquaintance of your family, Mr. Moore, in late September 1980 days before I embarked on my final trip to Bahrain just a few days after Saddam Hussein attacked Iran.

Major Johnson, who designated himself as your private secretary, collected it from me and said he would see that you received it. It needed cleaning and he said he'd designate "an Indian chap" for that task. 

I suggested that it may need rewiring due to electrical current differences between the U.S. and Bahrain. My suggestion was interpreted by the good major as a hint that some "delicate wiring" may have taken place in transit at some point. I told him that I'd imagined it in a war room such as I'd seen in films with a green-felted pool or snooker table covered with maps and toy-sized military hardware and men gathered around it re-fighting WWII as you and other chaps did at Command and General Staff School in Fort Leavenworth.

You never had the kindness to acknowledge my gift to you, but you should know now, if you ever did, that every gift I gave to you was from the heart of me, starting from the biggest gift a woman has to give the man she loves.

Birthday Card Is In The Mail

 

Happy Birthday, Hamad. 

I hope you are in excellent health. 

I read that you didn't attend Jared Kushner's and Bonesaw's fake reconciliation with Qatar because of ill health. I thought otherwise, since Mo Zayed will always compete for power, and you chaps in Bahrain have long-standing issues which were not overcome by you adding another wife to your harem.

I sent an actual birthday card to you via air mail, to the Riffa Palace, marked as personal, private and confidential. It was double-sealed.

It was mailed in Seattle on January 24th from my local Post Office.

It contains an important message which does not require your response. The message is my gift to you.

I wish you many happy returns of the day. If you were here, I'd bake you a cake or a tin of sweets.

INSHALLAH

    YOUR

INSHALLAHS

TURN INTO

MASHALLAHS

PEN > SWORD

It's My Birthday, So Some Thoughts on Gifts

Today's my birthday. 70. It rained this morning, even when I walked outside to accept delivery of a Tuxedo cake from a couple of my former neighbors. Seattle needs rain, so it was a gift. I took a bit of metaphysical credit, too. My birthday, my rain.

Then some good political news made for another special moment. Paul Manafort pleaded guilty to serious charges for which a Trump pardon will be ineffective and which will surely implicate Fat Nixon's lard ass in conspiracies and obstruction. Because I pay close attention to D.C. politics, I was happy for a bit that my birthday was the occasion on which it happened, so I thought of it as a gift.

Yesterday afternoon I made a decision not to do what I'd planned for this morning, to go and watch the new version of "A Star Is Born" with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, even though I don't like the venue where it's currently showing. I know the story line and my daughter suggested in Messenger from abroad that my mood wasn't compatible with a tragic film where the male lead dies in the end, so I had a rethink. Her excellent advice was a gift.

I needed to get out, it was sunny and so I walked down to the Majestic cinema on Market Street to watch "Crazy Rich Asians" instead of Cooper's film. 

I wanted comedy rather than tragedy, the reviews were good, some of the actors have been on the late night talk shows and it seemed like it might fit my needs. I didn't know when I walked in that it would be a stereotypical plot, only played out with Chinese and other Asian actors rather than white folks in the previous three versions. (The cinematography of Singapore is stunning in it, which I was reminded this morning watching Free Practice 3 of the Formula 1 Grand Prix going on there this weekend.)

In summary of the movie plot, a well-educated young woman from an ordinary background who's fallen in love with a young man from an extremely wealthy family -- much to her surprise -- is rejected by his family as unsuitable for them, despite her best efforts to please them. It is all so familiar and has a happy ending, though, unlike ours. I was in tears through half of it, but that's the sentimental me. I cry easily, too often, as always.

Today I thought about all the years that I've written you letters for your birthday, over 50 years now, albeit they've moved from hard copies to here, and some that I wrote and saved as I could not send them while keeping a very low profile and didn't care to have them intercepted. It was probably a gift to you that I didn't send them all, but perhaps you will have the opportunity to read them one day in a different format.

I thought about the fact that you never had to do a thing for any of the small gifts which I accepted from you, other than ask someone else to fetch them. 

Then I thought about the fact that I worked hard, all day long, every day, for a whole summer to save up the money to buy for you the last gift that I brought to Bahrain, the tall and beautiful vintage brass lamp made from a World War II battle shell, carved with a lighthouse and a lady in flowing robes, with the three fluted, matte pink lamp shades at the top. The major said that he'd have it polished for you.

I wondered if you appreciated it for one moment, let alone the gift of my efforts to acquire it, ship it to London and then bring it to Bahrain for your military treasure collection, just like the WWI battle helmet that I brought you in a prior visit and the helmet from Vietnam in an even earlier visit. Of course, our gifting cultures are entirely different. We say "Thank you."

I've never had a new car and quit driving over 20 years ago because it's expensive to maintain a car and I wasn't driving much. I don't like traffic and Seattle is one big traffic jam. I laughed at fast cars in the film because it reminded me that you just throw cars away. Out went the E-type. Out went the red Thunderbird. Out went the navy blue Rolls with our names on the inside doors. Not having to drive is a gift to me, most of the time.

I've never owned a grand piano or a house to put one in. I remember talking with you about pianos more than once, about you buying one and bringing it to Bahrain, then gifting it to one of your sisters. I remember you saying that I'd have a grand piano some day, ah yes, and you'd build me a little villa, that you'd get for me what my heart desired. I had to give up my little piano with the move here in May because the management won't allow it. That's been very hard on me, perhaps worst of all the negative things associated with this place, because playing the piano and writing music has been my saving grace for a long, long time. My music is a gift even without the piano.

I don't even have a decent kitchen with the latest move from the rat-infested house to this cubbyhole apartment that would fit inside the reception room at Safriyya where we spent so much time together. I'm still dreaming up and inventing new soft, frosted cookies for my artisan collection, but now must do half the preparation in my dining/living room/office space rather than the teeny kitchen, but I don't care because at least there's an oven. 

So, there are gifts, things for which I'm grateful today, moments and imperfect people to treasure.